Mavri Thalassa kom ne vellier-- surul skulla
Auss Apollnia inter Targul Strata
Auf nenvugen niel danke
[gibberish]
Skribble ibid am svenal

Apollonia[error in die uber] kossael
Meselph in kontemporarie kallas
Liem die Lemnos kuare inter Auschwitz
Auph auf nasser geboetten das das
Kontemporarie Berlin in meine spiegel
Der spiegel oph mieer kosenchinknoedel

March und August und Atti und Saline und--

---

This is horrible when Anglicized. Um um, made-up gibberish, some Greek, Latin and German in there, but really just shit I made up. It.. has meaning, just moreso with my made up alphabet. Yeahh. What.

no one here

just



m










e

.
---

I've been sitting here with this page up because it's nice and dark and I never want to sleep again. Kankubeinze Saline tearing through my gut in her usual rampageoh i thought this was over[it'sneverover] and then we're scrimmaging again and what's more oh March

oh March

your paperdust tears bring no warrant of mention in the times when August rules, nominative genitive declension three and we're all here waiting for her eyes cast up in a systematic approach to entropywhich
in theory
isn't reliable[bubububutalwaysknowyouknowknowknownonono]-ledge to land upon in times as these we're never too alone but all too familiar with it.

I am alone[lypersonbynature].

romantic views from an apathetic asexual

So, I've decided that listening to Beirut while walking around is very, very deadly to my Self.

But only their good music i.e.: not the recent double EP. While I enjoy a few songs off of it, I just don't get the emotional surge I get from their older albums. Views of the east Carpathians mingling with the feeling of my body floating down the Rhine... we travel years to get this far. Ahh.

THIS THIS THIS http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mu73fNsCeno
The backup vocals, even the slight issue in quality, the sound of screams as they pull St. Apollonia's teeth one by one from her mouth, her eyes wide in the terror yet she accepts her fate with such dignity and grace that her bloodied maw is reminiscent of wine rather than the torn and tattered face of a young girl and I--


was never there for her in the first place, what would I know?

---

Mount Wroclai haunts me in dream and waking. I can feel the dreary tape recorder as it echoes back last night's terrors and in this I know reality from truth, for in the walls we live there is never a True so much as a What-Once-Was, which in turn is not true at all. The mountain we have become infatuated with never existed outside of the mural in our old farmhouse, and without this painting it would never have been at all. Rain rain rain upon the windowpane and I can only sit and listen listen! as they whisper from beneath the floorboards, the ones who I have forgotten as time grows old in the clock's weary face. Tic toc toc toc...

And I know winter will pass by slow
Without my heart what can I do...
In the halls a bell gives way to a larger swell
Without my heart what can I do...

Mount Wroclai
Mount Wroclai
Mount Wroclai
Mount Wroclai

And we grow fat on the charms of our idle dreary days
Seen the shadows grow, See an ominous display
With no alarm, couldn't say we had expected this way
Our desires have died, give incent to play

Mount Wroclai
Mount Wroclai
Mount Wroclai
Mount Wroclai
Mount Wroclai

askdf

It's my best friend's birthday, and what did I get her? A huge box of shit that won't arrive until next week, and a drawing I'll never finish.

I AM SUCH A GREAT FRIEND RITE.


RITE????

(not such)deep dark secrets[now with a word from Sufjan]

I have plenty, but what about you?


is what they ask me.

---

Something's suddenly unclear
Someone's suddenly my fear
My eyes demand like broken eaves
The ladle overspills on eaves

If you once knew
How I loved you

And my bruise-colored eyes peal
Every image to your face and heel
And if you're happy, I am too
And if you're sleeping, I'm with you

But you love someone else
But you want to be with someone else
And I can't believe how dumb I sound
And I will put my face over the ground
And love you

so my grades are currently A, A, B, A-, B+, A, A... and my dad's disappointed. Granted, they aren't the best, but.. I don't think it's so bad he has to be angry over it?


will he ever be pleased? no, probably not!

the black sea

AUGUST
It was August all along

Oh Saline, Saline, those stitches left a nasty mark, but no one could shut you up, huh huh huh?

Was it Atti? Music girl's temptation leaving you lusty and you know you ca-ca-can't resist and it is of course

why


they stitched your mouth shut. I'm sorry, I've been away so long, but photos of August brought me back, so here I am and here we are


aren't you proud of me?

why's the party always gotta be on-

-s-s-s-sunday


I don't know why, but I always feel like I've let her down.

[ithinkeveryonehatesme(justcuzi-)hatemyself]

self deprecation

I just want to be sick stammering uncontrollable and effortlessly ill, and in the time it takes to realize these things you're all gone
Because I'm sick stammering uncontrollable but the effort in my illness is less sweet than I'd have you believe
Because I'm never satiated never happy never never ever please and if I am it's not really something truly believable
Infatuation which drives me mad and drives her to the arms of every man every woman every boy girl boy and when I'm mad it's all over it was really nothing
Nothing at all
Because I'm always the one told to stay to remain as the world goes to pure entropy around me
Because nothing ever matters when you're living on cardboard cutouts handouts selling yourself your selves to live
You can't live on the streets when they've all been decimated

This was all brought on by pictures of someone I knew and no one I was.



I am so fat.

so in the few minutes i've been awake my dad has decided to yell at me for the tone of my voice. Wh-... what? I went downstairs and said "so I guess you already went to the store?" because.. yeah, I took a nap and sort of.. expected that he'd wake me up to ask what i'd like for dinner. He almost flips out and starts saying I'm too accusatory, going "you hole yourself up in your room and don't hear me come home, don't expect me to know YOU'RE home!" (I never, ever fucking go out, wat) and... just general bullshit. So I say I was just wondering, since it's, you know, 7, and he usually wakes me up when I nap to yell at me for napping. So he asks if I want a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner, I JUST say "no, thank you" and he fucking throws a FIT. He hits something and goes on about how negative I am and the tone of my voice and just

JESUS

FUCKING



CHRIST







I REALLY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I SAID

indulgence

note to self; markers for Emma, tomorrow
Emma, you really need to remind me too


god i am so gone, just mentally out, no I won't have this comic done by tomorrow, yes I will no-no-n-n-n-o I will not. Yes I will. I will do it.


I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA CALL C-C-C-CALL
Y-O-U


no not you
god i should just go get pissed out of my mind because i sure am acting it already just get it done

petulance

There was a storm in the house, but the inhabitants never noticed the walls shaking. All they could do was sit there as torrential rain tore through the plaster, flooding even the upper floors. It was their daily routine to endure the deluge, the tepid waters churning around and within them.
This was never the right time. No concept of time could penetrate the murky depths as slowly, steadily, they plunged into the abyss, never to be seen again.



Sometimes we still hear them from the well.

Not really emo, but not really happy either. Horribly obvious lack of interest in people which permeates my horrible speech like some horrible bile from my horrible throat. I don't like living in the Bronze Age even though the future promises only cataclysms foreseen by labradors, but going back to the shores from which we springsprungsprang is just as ridiculous. What am I saying, I don't care anymore.

I'm

very


tired.




I keep getting these weird chest pains out of nowhere. Are dared me to eat a whole thing of wasabi the last night she was here, no big deal, I've done it before, but something was wrong with this particular glob and I got some really bad stomach/chest pains, couldn't move very well for about half an hour because of how much it hurt. I don't think this is in any way related to that, but the pains are similar, left half of my chest just red hot hurt. I don't know, maybe I'm just being melodramatic. It's really just annoying, nothing else.



I hate my dad and hope he dies soon. I really, really do. I can move out in a year so wtf,r. Fucking school.

lebanese time tables

You know, I don't quite get why I feel so lonely. I know it's only about four more months, and I can always talk to her online, but-




-it's still lonely.